When we become selfish or The Blind Mind?

Loss doesn’t make us suffer, self-pity does. When we pity ourselves we become selfish, our minds become blind and we never realize how foolish we were. We act like we are the only one on the planet who is going through loss, grief and mourning. We plant the seed of loneliness and don’t grab the hand approaching us, ignoring the good things happening around. At some point we may realize it but our selfishness might make us a bigger fool, the seed might become a plant with strong and deep roots.

 “Your mother abandoned her after that accident. She couldn’t take a “burden” in her life and yet, Miss Rose adopted you telling me you were her niece.” Ana couldn’t move, not after what she heard just now. There was only one step ahead to enter rose’s room but she couldn’t dare. She could see rose sitting on the arm chair staring at some unknown point on the beautiful carpeted wall. Room was slightly dark; the only light was the sunlight coming from the opened window whose white curtains were moving with the passing wind which made the room somewhat chilly. Sara, rose’s maid was looking at her with hope but Ana was fighting a battle between her selflessness and selfishness. And it seemed her selfishness won because instead of stepping inside, she stepped back and started walking towards her towards her own room. She stopped only after reaching her own room which was decorated as a princess’s room. She gazed at the round bed, pink painted walls, the big cupboards and then at the side window. That damn window across which there was nothing but the damn wall. She could remember what rose told her about the things that can be seen across the window.

“She wanted to show people how great she was. She didn’t want me, she wanted her revenge.” Ana screamed loud enough for Rose to listen. Her mind filled with hatred, she couldn’t think anything else. After that accident in which she lost her parents and then her vision, she was sent to foster home. She was only thirteen. Did she deserve that? No! so she screamed, wept and blamed all the people around her. She was happy blaming and fighting other children for being happy until Rose came to adopt her. Everyone admiring rose for adopting a blind child who was furious and angry all the time. Ana didn’t want to come with her but she was forced to do so.  “You can see those children playing in that park from you window Ana. Once you get your eyes back you will see how beautiful everything is.” Rose’s words echoed in her mind, making her wear a scowl on her face. Ana wouldn’t leave her room no matter what Rose told her. Instead Rose would come to her room and tell her how beautiful the world outside her window was. She tried to convince her to see the doctor but Ana wouldn’t agree. She hated her. She hated rose.

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